Category Archives: Divorce and Holidays

Love on Valentine's Day

How to GUARANTEE Love on Valentine’s Day

Love on Valentine's DayValentine’s Day is tomorrow and even though I am truly not one to be swept up in the frenzy of a Hallmark enhanced holiday, there is simply no denying that all of us experience at least some pang of anticipation around this day.

 

  • Will someone bring me flowers or chocolates?
  • Better yet, will I have the story to tell about receiving the most creative lover’s gift?
  • What will I be doing when ‘everyone else‘ is experiencing the most romantic night of the year?

 

Really?

 

With these as our mental expectations, it is no wonder why there is a statistically significant spike in calls to divorce attorneys on February 15th!

 

But do you notice a pattern in all the stories the mind tells about this holiday? Look carefully….

 

In each of these cases, we are waiting on the receiving end to be validated by someone else that we are loved in order to FEEL love.

 

We are basically telling ourselves that the only real measure of how lovable we are is what someone else does for us on that day. And if we are considering, in the midst of or post divorce, what do we do with that? And even if we are married, if we live in the ‘real’ word, how likely is this day ever to meet our expectations? Are we just setting our partners up for failure and ourselves up for disappointment?

 

Well, when you put it that way, Adina…

 

Two days ago I hosted my monthly support call on Preparing for Divorce with guest Anna Balfour who is a licensed psychologist in Wayne, PA. (It was an amazing call and if you want a copy of the recording, just e-mail me with “call recording” in the subject line.)

 

In any case, one of the things we talked about on the call is how to GURANTEE love on Valentine’s Day, and here are our top two suggestions:

 

Love Yourself! Yes…The most important source of love in your life is actually your love for yourself. If we cultivate it, it is always there for us. Do something wonderful for yourself, plan a special time during the day just for you, and …really do this… make yourself a card where you remind yourself of 25 things you love about you. Twenty five is a big number and I GUARANTEE that you will feel something extraordinary inside when you take the time to list 25 things you love about yourself. I beg you to try it.

 

Give as much love as you can. Yes, GIVE love to others. There is no better way to experience an abudance of love than to pour out love for others. This can be volunteering somewhere and helping others you do not know feel cared for. This can be choosing 1-3 people in your life that you adore and planning to do something special for them. This can be spending your day engaging in random acts of kindness anywhere you go. Seriously, you will never experience as much joy and love on the receiving end as you will experience by being on the giving end, GUARANTEED!

 

So this Valentine’s Day, no matter who you are or what your relationship status is, be a source of love.

Love Yourself Dearly

Love Others Generously

____________________________________________________________

Adina Laver is the author of the Divorce Companion™ and founder of Divorce Essentials™, a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those who are considering, in the midst of, or post-divorce and are committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives.

 

If you are contemplating a divorce but are stuck or if you are in the throes of making key decisions for your future but need guidance, reach out to Adina. Whether you coach together for one Ala Carte Session or coach for a full Personal Empowerment Breakthrough, Adina is ready to help you navigate through uncertainty so you can create a happier and healthier future!

 

 

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Gratitude in Difficult Times

Gratitude During Difficult Times

Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more you will have even more to express gratitude for. 

~Zig Ziglar

Gratitude in Difficult Times

 

Thanksgiving is the holiday when we are specifically invited to focus our hearts and minds on gratitude. However, when something difficult is going on in life, it can sometimes feel challenging to access gratitude. In my personal world, I lost two people who were very dear to me right before Thanksgiving, my aunt last year and my father-in-law five years ago and I know how easy it was to become so absorbed in my own experience that it feels hard to do anything else. For anyone navigating divorce, separation or any other kind of transition, feelings of loss, sadness, anger or hurt can be so strong that they can seem like a barrier to gratitude. In fact, we may even wonder if we should focus on gratitude when there is so much loss and pain.

 

The truth is that based upon gratitude research, this is precisely when we can benefit most from stretching towards gratitude. The holiday of Thanksgiving was originally celebrated after nearly half of all the Pilgrims died from a difficult winter. It officially became a holiday during the Civil War and was moved to its current date in the 1930’s following the depression. It is when times are most difficult that gratitude can help us to gain a perspective on the expansive nature of life and relationships so that we do not become consumed or overwhelmed by our own circumstances.

 

Gratitude is not only a healthy perspective perspective, but it also has great benefit in helping us to cope with crisis as well. According to gratitude research expert, Robert Emmons, “Consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals.” Rather than trying to pretend as though the difficult situation does not exist or isn’t happening, gratitude gives us the capacity to acknowledge where we are and then notice how far we have come, those who are helping and supporting us, what unexpected connections are being created, what we are learning, and how we are growing. This acknowledgement actively builds our personal strength and resilience.

 

So this Thanksgiving, I invite you to stretch even further into gratitude. Here are some ideas to support you in this practice. And as I prepare for my own Thanksgiving holiday, I truly want to thank you for being on this journey we call life with me. We all become stronger and happier through the connections we make and I am gratitude to have you as part of my community.

 

How to reach for gratitude during difficult times:

 

  • Begin to keep a gratitude journal (or dust off the one that you began before). Make time over the next 5 days to write for 10 minutes per day in your journal. According to the research, one of the most effective ways to journal about gratitude (and some of this is new for me) is to take a few things you are grateful for and write five sentences about each. For example, if you are grateful for your job, then write five reasons why you are grateful for your job. In the detail, you will feel how deep this gratitude actually is.
  • Choose three people in your life for whom you are particularly grateful and write them a note – handwritten, text or e-mail – letting them know. Be sure to include those 3-5 details (mentioned above) about why you are grateful to have them in your life.
  • Take on a practice for the next 4-5 days of stopping three times each day to say what you feel grateful for in the moment. Say it out loud and pause after each one to experience how the gratitude feels in your body.
  • If you are hosting people for Thanksgiving, create a stack of gratitude notes that you place around the house that people can run into and experience all weekend long.
  • Whether you have kids or want to connect with your inner child, make a gratitude collage. Put together pictures and images of people and things you feel grateful for and add quotes about gratitude. Frame it and hang it somewhere o serve as a daily reminder of the power of gratitude.

 

Finally, let’s begin a list here. What are you grateful for? Please add your comment below.

 

Warmest wishes for a holiday filled with grace and connection.

 

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every moment with love, grace, and gratitude.

~Denis Waitley

____________________________________________________________

Adina Laver is the author of the Divorce Companion™ and founder of Divorce Essentials™, a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those who are considering, in the midst of, or post-divorce and are committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives.

 

If you are contemplating a divorce but are stuck or if you are in the throes of making key decisions for your future but need guidance, reach out to Adina. Whether you coach together for one Ala Carte Session or coach for a full Personal Empowerment Breakthrough, Adina is ready to help you navigate through uncertainty so you can create a happier and healthier future!

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Served Divorce Papers

The Day I Was Served Divorce Papers: A Moment to Remember

Valentine’s Day, 2014 – the day I was served divorce papers – a moment to remember.

 

The afternoon is quiet with the stillness that descends after a long snowfall.

The snow lies as if at rest—glistening like diamonds lighted by a winter sun that whispers:

“I am here…I’ve never left you.”

 

My children are out and I sit alone awaiting the sound of the postman’s feet. He arrives here each day. I am mostly oblivious to his presence but on occasion, I have heard the weighted sound of his footsteps against the mahogany floor of our front porch.

 

Today, I sit in my favorite rocker, hyper conscious of his impending arrival and of what his visit to our home today will mean.

 

No other day shall pass like this one.

 

Soon, he will arrive as he always does but today, on Valentine’s Day, 2014, he will ring the doorbell. I will answer, greet him and he will ask me to sign for a letter or package.

I will sign for a large envelope that will contain paperwork that indicates the dissolution of my marriage in a language I don’t quite understand.

I think I will sigh. I think I will say: “Well…this is certainly a moment to remember.”

I think I shall remember the heaviness of the snow all around me…the sharp, crystal icicles that hang with such elegance from the edges of the roof on the house next door…the smell of the mid-day coffee I have just brewed. This is not a moment to forget.

 

I was alerted earlier in the week from my husband that I would be served with divorce papers today. I’ve arranged my schedule so that I can be here to answer the door. I’ve arranged for the children to be with my mother, enjoying homemade waffles that she will make with great love and care because she is worried about their breaking hearts. I have arranged that I am here alone with my beautiful Stella—my constant animal companion, a gentle, giant Great Pyrenees. She can be here because she knows me better than I know myself.

She can be here because she has known that this day has been coming—for a very long time.

This afternoon she rests—curled up in a ball, her back pressed firmly against our large front door. I will have to ask her to move in order to open the door when the postman rings. I think she knows this and she has positioned herself this way because she knows that I will need such a pause—just a very short moment to breathe before opening the door to being served divorce papers—before opening the door to a very new and different life.

 

Most who know me know that I am home today for this reason. Most react terribly to this idea—the idea of being served divorce papers on Valentine’s Day. But I don’t…I really don’t.

As painful as the process of coming to the decision to divorce has been, the arrival of these papers does not mark for me an “ending.” I will likely hold the weight of them in my hands and think: “Wow…this was the weight of our life together.” And then I will set them down.

The arrival of these papers, for me, at this time, represent the first day of a new life and all of the hope and excitement, and all of the fear and uncertainty that any “new beginning” entails.

 

They represent eight years of my life within which I did my very best—gave my very best—was my very best.

 

They represent a long, windy journey together—a path walked with someone I thought I’d walk a lifetime with…a path walked until we could walk together no more…a path walked until we reached a fork in the road and saw that now—now—two paths were before us.

 

And this happens sometimes…and when this happens we look to one another and we look deeply inside of ourselves and we ask the only question left to ask: do we continue to walk together—or do we part and embark on new and different journeys?

The heart always knows the answer to such a question. Always. It may take us time to really hear the answer and to accept it, but the heart knows.

Mine did.

 

I knew to the core of my being that my growth and evolvement moving forward meant that I must walk alone. That I must let go of his hand, his heart, and our life together for to do otherwise, would be to betray myself, him, and our relationship.

I knew also, that his own growth now depended on our parting.

A fairly clear and simple realization.

But a very frightening place to be—that fork in the road faced with that one essential question: do we continue to walk together—or do we part and embark on new and different journeys?

 

I love myself to know what it is I had to do—what it is I must do. And the arrival of the divorce papers are symbolic of a choice I’ve made and are a tangible expression of the degree to which I am loving and honoring myself—perhaps for the first time.

 

So today, Valentine’s Day, 2014, I accept the postman’s arrival. I will carefully sign my name and I shall accept the large, weighted envelope he will place in my hands.

And I might weep. But my tears will be a bittersweet honoring of what was and a joyous expression of what lies ahead for me.

Today is sacred to me. The snow, the ice, the blazing sunlight…the postman’s feet, the sound of the doorbell, the papers in my hands…Stella’s eyes…the steam from the cinnamon coffee rising up from my mug…my tears…my joy.

 

Valentine’s Day, 2014 – the day I was served divorce papers – a moment to remember.

 

I pull my sweater tightly around me and I pause and feel this as an embrace of sorts.

 

Today I love myself as I never have before.

 

A sacred, holy, divine day.

 

My day. My life. My love.

 

This post was contributed by Christine Kiesinger, PhD.

Christine Kiesinger holds a Ph.D. in Relational and Family Communication Studies. After spending twenty-five years teaching relationship communication in university settings, Kiesinger realized that her students not only hungered to improve and deepen their close relationships, but also wished to move beyond content that focused on “fixing” and “repairing” close bonds. They were in search of tools for transformation. In an unorthodox move, Kiesinger began weaving spiritual principals into her course lectures as a means of more fully satisfying her students need to truly “ascend” in their relationships. This ascension creates what Kiesinger calls “sacred partnerships”—connections that are precious and rare. Christine is also a yoga teacher, a certified Reiki Master Teacher and is presently competing her studies in clinical aromatherapy. Her work in these holistic healing modalities shape and impact her teaching and writing.

 

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Divorced Dad

Father’s Day Tribute to Divorced Dads

Having been a Father’s Day baby (actually born on Father’s Day), this day of honoring dads has always been important to me. What I find interesting is that now that I am no longer married, I Divorced Dadfind myself almost more concerned about making sure that my kids have time with their dad on Father’s Day than I did when we were together, which can be complicated as we aim to spend time with my father as well, and he is located in another city.

 

This year, because of other circumstances, my new partner, my ex, my kids, my parents and I will all celebrate Father’s Day together. This is something that none of us could have imagined a year ago, but a testament to the fact that all things transform in time, especially when parents put their kids first.

 

Giving Divorced Dads Due Credit

 

So this week, in honor of Father’s Day, I want to make a tribute to Divorced Dads. Historically, and it still persists in many places today, dads were not thought to have the “parenting gene” or whatever it is we thought made a mom the more suitable caregiver. This belief was reflected in custody determinations that for many years deeply favored the mother. If parents divorced, they could almost count on the fact that the mother would get primary physical custody and the dad would get some visitation rights one night during the week and every other weekend.

 

While things are still far from perfect, gratefully things have changed.

 

I loved reading this article because it certainly matches my experience. Like many divorced moms, I worried about certain aspects of caregiving that my kids always got from me and not their father. What would they do the 50% of the time they were in his care? Amazingly (though not really), I found that when my kids were in their dad’s care, they did get everything they needed. It didn’t always look the same as the way I would do things, but they absolutely got everything they needed. With me no longer present, he instinctively and very competently stepped up to navigate in what we have traditionally thought of as the “maternal role.”

 

And to be completely honest, there were a number of aspects of parenting where my ex excelled and I was more hesitant. In much the same way, I stepped up and found my way too. As the article said, it is the experience if parenting that activates these areas of the brain, not our gender. With desire, commitment and practice, moms and dads both have everything they need (biologically speaking) to be parental.

 

Tribute to Divorced Dads

 

So on this Father’s Day, a tribute to Divorced dads who:

  • Put their children first and make decisions with their best in mind
  • Explore and enjoy the new relationships that are possible with their kids in a space where they have new freedom and liberty to parent in their own way
  • Are finally beginning to be recognized by the law and society as every bit as capable of caregiving as moms
  • By the very nature of being the unique individual that they are, have perspective, experience, and ways of loving to offer as parents that are treasures for their children.

 

This Father’s Day, on June 15th, I invite you to think of a divorced or divorcing dad you know (may even be your former spouse) and take a few moments to honor who they are as a parent. If you are so moved, reach out and acknowledge them as a parent or pass on this article. And if you are a divorced or divorcing dad, I invite you to take a moment to fully acknowledge yourself as a parent and then find a way to connect with your kids, whether they are with you or not.

 

Happy Father’s Day.

 

__________________________________

Adina Laver is the author of the Divorce Companion™ and founder of Divorce Essentials™, a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those who are considering, in the midst of, or post-divorce and are committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives.

 

If you are contemplating a divorce but are stuck or if you are in the throes of making key decisions for your future but need guidance, reach out to Adina. Whether you coach together for one Let’s Get Real Mini Session, or coach for a full Personal Empowerment Breakthrough, Adina is ready to help you navigate through uncertainty so you can create a happier and healthier future!

 

 

 

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My First Post Divorce Mother’s Day

SunflowersI will always remember my first post divorce Mother’s Day as one of my fondest. After years of hosting a beautiful family gathering for anywhere between 9 – 12 mothers and their associated loved ones, this was the first Mother’s Day that was truly about my motherhood.

 

My girls were with me that day and sensing the magnitude of the changes for everyone, they were very committed to taking care of me. They asked me what I would love to do. When I told them there was a Mother’s Day yoga class I really wanted to take, they told me to go! They also told me that they were taking care of dinner. Having made some arrangements to plan a meal and buy food earlier in the week, they were already prepared (who knew?)!

 

So, off I went to yoga – the first Mother’s Day in over 13 years when I was not rushing around like crazy to finish the last few homemade gifts and get the house cleaned and prepared so I could host the party for 20+. Instead, I attended a 90-minute yoga and meditation class, and returned home to snuggle with my girls until it was time to ‘prepare dinner.’

 

“Go to your room mom, and read a book. No peeking!” they demanded.

 

So off I went. Yoga, snuggling and now time to read a book! What an amazing Mother’s Day.

 

As I was up in my room, I heard the back and forth between my girls as they worked to prepare the feast. Finally, upon receiving my formal invitation to dine, I came down to a meal made with as much love as a mother could ever imagine. There was a pasta primavera, flatbread and salad. The three of us delighted in this meal together. And if all this had not been enough, they had made me a Mother’s Day packet of cards, each one naming one thing that makes me special in their eyes.

 

Why do I share this? Not only because it is a sweet post divorce Mother’s Day story and who could possibly resist, but also because when many people think about divorce, they often think only about what they may be ‘losing ‘ or ‘giving up.’ They lament the things that will not be the same. In some cases, this fear of ‘loss’ is so powerful that it inhibits people from ever making changes.

 

Change is Just Change

 

But change is not all bad and there is not only loss on the other side. No, I was not surrounded on Mother’s Day by a beautiful extended family as I had been for many years, but look at the incredible gift I received instead.

 

We get used to the familiar and we habituate to what is. Our mind tells stories that make us believe that we will be deprived on the other side of change and never have it as good. Well, this simply isn’t true. Change is just change. By definition, change is neither bad nor good. What change brings depends in large part upon how we open to it. Are we willing to be open to the new things that change can bring? Are we able to embrace the unexpected blessings that are inherent in change? Are we willing and able to be present to the moment and see what it has to offer?

 

On this Mother’s Day, whether you are a mother or a father, divorcing or struggling in your relationship, I invite you to turn down the volume on the stories the mind likes to tell about how sad, disappointing, or shortchanged something might seem. Instead, try positioning yourself in a new way and ask, “I wonder what will make this Mother’s Day unique and beautiful in its own right. I wonder what blessings I will notice when I lift my eyes in search of beauty.”

 

With this is mind, I am looking forward to my second post divorce Mother’s Day this Sunday and I invite you to share your blessings below as you discover them.

 

Now It’s Your Turn

 

And if you really do want to make a change or want to be able to see things differently but you need some help, contact me.  Let’s talk. Life is truly full of blessings, no matter what direction you may be headed. Let’s discover them together.

___________________________________

Adina Laver is the author of the Divorce Companion™ and founder of Divorce Essentials™, a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those who are considering, in the midst of, or post-divorce and are committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives.

 

If you are contemplating a divorce but are stuck or if you are in the throes of making key decisions for your future but need guidance, reach out to Adina. Whether you coach together for one Let’s Get Real Mini Session, or coach for a full Personal Empowerment Breakthrough, Adina is ready to help you navigate through uncertainty so you can create a happier and healthier future!

 

 

 

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The Best Valentine’s Day Gift You Can Give (or Receive)

Rose

Single or not, one of the best Valentine’s Day gifts you will ever give – or receive – is the gift of self-love. On this day dedicated to love, take some time to nurture your love of self because without it, you can never fully love another. Here is my love letter to myself for Valentine’s Day. Give yourself the best Valentine’s Day gift you will ever give or receive and write yourself a letter too. If you want to share it, post it with mine on my blog.

 

Self-love is the source of all our other loves.

~Pierre Corneille

 

Dear Me –

 

Happy Valentine’s Day. It is funny how this day never actually meant a lot to me when I was married, but now, in post divorce life, I have found meaning in it that feels really good.

 

While dating or married, Valentine’s Day felt like something I was “supposed to do,” otherwise run the risk of looking like I wasn’t really in love or loving. It truly felt contrived and like the Hallmark holiday – and neither my ex nor I really did celebrate much.

 

Now, as I have the opportunity to think about the holiday from a different vantage point, this day seems like a great opportunity to both explore a love that I didn’t attend to very much in earlier parts of my life as well as share love in a new way. In short, it is a day to experience mindful awareness about love – love of myself and love of others. It is a day to give myself one of the best Valentine’s Day gifts I can ever give – or receive.

 

Since loving myself was not something I was very good at for the first 43 years of my life, I appreciate taking this opportunity to explore some of the things I really do love about myself. Here are a few:

 

  • I love the fact that I am creative and can uncover interesting outlets for my creative energy. Whether I invest them in creating crazy themed birthday parties for my kids or in putting on an accent to entertain my kids one morning when everyone was overtired and could have easily melted down, I appreciate this quality.
  • I love the fact that I am able to forgive easily. Things do get me triggered (like just the other day!) and I have really difficult moments like everyone else, and I am truly grateful for the fact that my natural tendency is to be forgiving and to return to love.
  • I love the fact I am attuned to my body. When I care for it well and when I don’t care for it as well as I would like, I love the fact that my body is an accurate source of information about all kinds of things and that I am able to receive the messages it shares with me.
  • I love the fact that despite my fears and the many challenges I have encountered along the way, that I have been able to make choices in recent times that feel authentic to me. I am finding my voice and learning to use it effectively.
  • I love that when I get afraid, feel weary and exhausted, and get thrown off track that I can somehow recall the fact that things will look brighter in the morning. I am learning to let go when things get very rough (rather than trying to push through them), and wait for clarity to return after a night’s sleep.

 

Loving myself and sharing my love with others… This is also a time when I am thinking a lot about the people who love and support me:

 

  • My daughters for the joy and love they bring into my life.
  • My parents who found a way to extend the reaches of their love beyond what they may have even believed possible.
  • My current partner who supports me without question and takes time to appreciate me every day for who I am.
  • The guides who I have encountered along my journey in recent years who have shared their wisdom and walked beside me.
  • My colleagues who have selflessly offered support for the development of new projects.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day. May this day be filled with moments of great blessing that remind you today and always that you are loved and that the love you share makes the world a brighter place.

 

Love, Adina

 

So write yourself a letter and give yourself the best Valentine’s Day Gift You will ever give – or receive!

_________________________________________

Divorce Essentials, founded by Divorce Coach Adina Laver, is a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those who are considering, in the midst of, or post-divorce and are committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives.

If you are contemplating a divorce but are stuck or if you are in the throes of making key decisions for your future but need guidance, reach out to Adina. Whether you coach together for one Let’s Get Real Mini Session, or coach for a full Personal Empowerment Breakthrough, Adina is ready to help you navigate through uncertainty so you can create a happier and healthier future!

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How to be Alone on Valentine’s Day

Whether you are recently divorced, in the midst of divorcing, or contemplating the end of yourValentine's Day marriage, being alone on Valentine’s Day can feel like pouring salt into an open wound. Greeting cards on sale (even at the post office!), commercials on TV for flowers, signs in store fronts, and friends of family members who are making plans for that “romantic evening!” Ready to bury your head under the covers and wait for February 15th to arrive?

Well, don’t. Being alone on Valentine’s Day does not have to leave you feeling “lonely.” Alone is a physical state and lonely is a feeling. They don’t actually go together – and here is how to make sure they don’t “meet up”…

Let’s begin with a little perspective. While there are ancient roots to the holiday, let’s do remember that the modern celebration has been driven by Hallmark. These days, the greatest beneficiaries are the chocolate industry, flower industry and most recently divorce lawyers (according to AVVO.com, there is a 40% spike in searches for divorce lawyers immediately following this ‘lover’s holiday!’).

In fact, neither the 58 billion pounds of chocolate nor the 198 million roses that will be sold for Valentine’s Day are in any way correlated to improving or sustaining loving relationships. Ironically, the failure to “meet expectations” for holiday giving can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back for many couples and precipitates discussion of divorce.  So, if you are struggling in your relationship, one of the best gifts you may give to each other this year is the agreement to not celebrate together. This way there are no unmet expectations. Instead, consider the following alternative approach…

Focus on the ‘One Love’ you can always count on… Your love of you! Yes, your love of YOU! Truth be told, this is the love that matters the most, the one that can last forever, the one that even if you are physically alone on Valentine’s Day – you won’t be “lonely” because this is an essential ingredient for lasting love.

This Valentine’s Day, place Divorce aside and let’s focus on you!

Here are three ways to focus on loving yourself this Valentine’s Day:

  1. Write yourself that juicy love letter! As sad as we can get sometimes about the fact that others do not acknowledge us, when is the last time you actually acknowledged yourself? What do you value about you? What do you love about you? What are you most proud of? What do you love about you? I invite you to join me this Valentine’s Day in sitting down and writing yourself a love letter. (I will post mine on my blog on February 14th and I invite you to post a message and share yours there as well!)
  2. Reach out to those who love you. Identify three people in your life who have done something in the past year that has truly felt loving to you. Make or buy them a card, send them a note, or give them a call and tell them how much you appreciate them. Share with them something specific they have done for you that really made you feel loved. You will be absolutely amazed at how good you will feel when you do this.
  3. Do something you love. Rather than focusing your energies on what Hallmark thinks you should be doing on February 14th, do something you love to do. If you love to swim, set aside time and go swimming (probably indoors if you are up north like me!). If you love to dance, set aside time to turn on the music and let yourself go. If you love to read, set aside time cozy up with a great book. Whatever it is, give yourself the gift of doing something you love.

And one last thing… Please join me, Adina Laver, Divorce & Relationship Coach, and my guest, Dr. B. Hibbs, Psychologist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and author of “Try to See it My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage” for a Valentine’s Day and Divorce free support call on February 12th. Click here for information and to register.

This Valentine’s Day, focus on the one love you can truly count on!

______________________________

Divorce Essentials, founded by Divorce Coach Adina Laver, is a specialized divorce coaching and support service for those who are considering, in the midst of, or post-divorce and are committed to a healthy path for reclaiming their lives.

If you are contemplating a divorce but are stuck or if you are in the throes of making key decisions for your future but need guidance, reach out to Adina. Whether you coach together for one Let’s Get Real Mini Session, or coach for a full Personal Empowerment Breakthrough, Adina is ready to help you navigate through uncertainty so you can create a happier and healthier future!

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